Are you in the position where you have broken up with your boyfriend but really would like to rebuild the relationship? Do you feel unhappy when you hear a certain record on the radio, go to a certain place that reminds you of the good times you once had
This is a complicated and very emotionally charged time for you. It is very complex to not end up doing the wrong thing that will estrange your boyfriend more. So how do you go about getting your ex boyfriend back. I hope these suggestions will help you as they have helped me in the past.
Don’t Panic!
The very first thing is don’t panic. This can be very damaging and confirms their decision to break up. It will just push your ex boyfriend further away. So what do I mean by panic? Here are some of the typical signs:
- Text message terrorism. Trying to stay in contact by sending your ex boyfriend lots of texts
- Drunk Dialling. Phoning up your ex boyfriend when drunk or in a highly emotional state professing you undying love and pleading to come back.
- Disagreeing all the time about the fact he left you
- Contacting their friends and family. Often to try and find out the "real" reason they have broken up from you because you cannot accept the reason they have given.
-"Accidental" meetings. Your ex-boyfriend knows what is happening here
So what should you do?
This is extremely hard because it goes agaisnt your naturalinstincts
What you should is often opposite you feelings. At this time you agree with the breakup and are cool and calm with it (what ever you feel inside). If you have panicked then now is the time to stop, if you haven’t done any of the text messaging, drunk dialling etc then you are way ahead of the game and in a powerful position.
Why does this work?
Let me show you some of the important psychological reasons why playing it cool and backing off can have him in the palm of your hand sooner than you think. The most important is this - People want what they cannot have. This may be designer clothes when they do cannot afford them, money in the bank when they do not have any or love and attention when they lack it.This is the way you can work to get your ex boyfriend back. Human nature makes us want what we cannot have If you make it clear that he cannot have you any longer then his psychological triggers will be activated. He will begin to want what he cannot have, this is human nature.
Here what you do as a first step
Write a short note to him saying the following things - no more no less.
1. Tel lhim you appreciate that it is Okay that you are breaking up
2.If you have done something wrong yourself, in brief say sorry but do not make too much of it
3. Hint that something dramatic has happened in your life to change it but do not tell him
4. Let him know you want to give him some time to himself for now.
5. Finish the note by saying "Maybe at some point we could be friends"
The second step is just as important
Really do begin something new and exciting in your life, something where you are going to interact with other people especially men. For instance a great one is to start Salsa lessons - you will be dancing with new men all the time, you will get attention, and when your ex boyfriend hears about it (make sure that he does!) it will create jealousy and longing in him.
In endingI would like to remind you, relationships do come to an end and sometimes it is the right thing to happen. You have tried to get him back and it is not working - get back to the Salsa Class!
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